What Makes a Happy Marriage After 70? Seniors Share Their Secrets

What makes a happy marriage after 70 is prioritizing companionship over perfection and communicating openly about health, fears, and needs. It's also adapting together through life's changes, keeping emotional and physical affection alive, and finding joy in simple, shared routines.

The Pew Research Center reports that in 2023, over 1.8 million Americans divorced, and 33% of Americans who have ever been married have also experienced divorce. It's clear that breakdowns in relationships lead to separations and divorces, so it's vital to work on your marriage and keep it healthy and alive.

The upside is that many seniors in Raleigh, NC, have long and fulfilling partnerships. They've gone through the decades with the same supportive spouse, seeing them through thick and thin.

So what are their secrets to a happy marriage?

What Is a Happy Marriage?

A happy marriage is a supportive partnership where both people feel like they can rely on each other. There's comfort, respect, and trust.

How can you achieve this? Here's some top senior relationship advice for long-term love.

Prioritizing Companionship Over Perfection

Aging together shouldn't mean it's about changing each other. Instead, it's more about genuinely enjoying each other's company.

By this stage in life, you'll have seen each other through:

• Personal challenges
• Careers
• Family changes
• Losses

When you're younger, small imperfections may seem hugely frustrating. But as the years go by, they fade in importance.

So don't focus on who does what "right." Couples who are happiest focus on being present for each other. Offer each other kindness, humor, and patience, as well as comfort, familiarity, and emotional safety.

Communicating Openly About Health, Fears, and Needs

Communication in relationships is essential, no matter how old you are. If you bury your feelings, then this can cause you to grow apart from your partner.

After 70, the following can impact daily life and the relationship:

• Health changes
• Mobility limitations
• Emotional concerns

So it's important to open up discussions to prevent misunderstandings and resentment. It's also crucial to listen with patience and empathy.

When both spouses feel heard and respected, they can face challenges as a team, rather than as individuals. Along with healthy family relationships, this can help seniors tackle almost anything in life.

Adapting Together Through Life's Changes

Marriage after retirement can be very different, especially if both partners worked full-time before. In addition to retirement, these things can shift how your daily life looks:

• Physical limitations
• Changes in social circles
• The loss of loved ones

To thrive, you must adapt together rather than resist change. This might mean adjusting travel plans, finding new hobbies, or even moving to a new city like Raleigh, NC.

You shouldn't focus on what you can no longer do. Happy couples focus on what they can still do and how to do these things together.

Look at the changes as shared challenges rather than individual burdens. This can help preserve unity and purpose.

Keeping Emotional and Physical Affection Alive

Physical and emotional wellness in aging doesn't just apply to individuals; they apply to couples, too. In fact, the National Council on Aging (NCOA) says that intimacy is still important in older adults.

Understandably, sexual activity may not be possible for all elderly couples, but there are other ways to have physical intimacy. They include:

• Holding hands
• Hugging
• Cuddling

You can also deepen your emotional intimacy. You can:

• Express appreciation
• Offer reassurance
• Show tenderness

Keep in mind that affection doesn't necessarily mean grand gestures. What's important is consistent warmth and presence. Even small daily expressions of love can be the strongest reminders that the relationship is still comforting and joyful.

Finding Joy in Simple, Shared Routines

One of the greatest sources of happiness in a senior marriage is learning to appreciate life's quieter moments together. Cherished rituals can include:

• Morning coffee
• Evening walks
• Shared meals
• Favorite weekly shows

Not only can you look forward to these things each day, but they also create stability and connection. Focusing less on excitement and more on contentment and gratitude is key to a long and successful marriage.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is the Hardest Year of Marriage?

There isn't one single year that's the hardest for every couple. However, for many seniors, some of the most challenging periods come later in life rather than early on. The following can put enormous strain on a marriage:

• Retirement
• Health issues
• Loss of independence
• Becoming caregivers for a spouse

In particular, the first year after retirement can be difficult. This is because couples have to adjust to spending much more time together and renegotiate roles, routines, and expectations.

The good news is that if you've navigated decades together, you'll probably have the necessary communication skills and shared history required to work through these challenges and emerge even stronger.

What Is the 3-3-3 Rule for Marriage?

The 3-3-3 rule for marriage is a great guideline that encourages couples to stay emotionally connected, even throughout the years. It goes like this:

• Every three days, do something thoughtful
• Every three weeks, go on a date
• Every three months, take a short trip or special outing together

Of course, for older adults, this rule can be adapted to fit energy levels, health needs, and mobility. The purpose is to prevent the relationship from becoming stagnant. It should help you prioritize intentional time together and maintain romance.

What Are the Three Cs of a Good Marriage?

The three Cs of a good marriage support not just your romantic connection, but also companionship, caregiving, and mutual respect. They are:

1. Communication: Helps you navigate health changes, emotional needs, and lifestyle shifts with honesty and empathy
2. Commitment: Reflects the deep promise to stand by each other through aging, illness, and life's uncertainties
3. Compromise: Allows partners to adapt as abilities, preferences, and priorities change over time
4.  

Have a Long and Happy Marriage

A happy marriage will look different between couples since everyone is unique. However, the healthiest relationships are built on trust, reliability, and open communication.

Also, it's essential to keep up with both physical and emotional intimacy. Being proactive about maintaining and deepening connections can do wonders for your relationship.

Morningside of Raleigh is a pet-friendly community that has a 24-hour professional team available for our residents' peace of mind. Get in touch with us today if you're interested in senior living in Raleigh, NC.